The Real People of...

"You will have very few opportunities in life to meet and connect with 'real' people."

My sister said this to me when we were chatting the other day. Her tone seemed almost ominous and I couldn't shake her words long after we got off the phone. Growing up in a traditional Indian household with traditional Indian parents has definitely done a number on me. Not necessarily a bad number, but as to be expected, I am a product of my childhood social environment.

I credit my work ethic and ambition to my parents. Throughout college, friends would be amazed by my endurance with the nine-hour study stints at the library sans any concentration-enhancing drugs (I remember a few times when the campus was dry and this threw my friends into raging panic attacks)

...and I rarely drank coffee - screw Redbull; that noxious shit is illegal in Europe.

Nothing worthwhile ever came from sitting on your ass (well, I hope this blog is meaningful to someone). Working a shitty job, having horrendous team members that reek of God knows what, whatever the issue you may have to endure, it's worth it if you are passionate about the overarching goal you are working towards. There were a few classes in college that I couldn't stand but I was working towards a degree that I thought, at the time, was aligned with my interests and career goals. The pursuit of the degree made sense to me since I was content with the potential opportunities it would grant me post-college.

I can weather working day in and day out in horrible conditions as long as I care about what I am doing. I have never been more indifferent and apathetic in my life. Blah, blah, blah. I just need to suck it up and get myself out of this mess.

A lover of mine recites this quote to me when I tell him of my indifference: “Apathy is the glove into which the devil slips its hand.”

I hate not giving a shit. I am a strong-willed person and funny enough, I'm doing quite well at work: received an award the other day, consistently stellar performance reviews. For me, credibility is everything so if anything has my name on it; it will be quality, timely delivered work. Thankfully, I still follow this credo at my new post but my resolve is fading fast.

While I'm transitioning to hopefully something more rewarding than tying numbers and sending entries to be booked to my fellow offshore teammate, Muthukaranarayanan for a faceless corporation, I return to my sister’s words. Lately, I understand how important it is to show the great people in your life how much you care for them. I'll be the first to admit that I haven't always been a great friend, let alone girlfriend; I still struggle with it everyday but I think I’m getting better and I have this job to thank for the improvement. When I’m struggling with one area of my life, I feel like I evaluate and appreciate the other pieces.

It's the people in your life that make it what it is. It's tough to find people you really feel at home with, especially in New York City. All I know with my current state of mind, you are one lucky bastard to have a career that challenges you and pays the bills. I’m going to eventually get there – I just won’t stop until I do.

I leave you with this great website full of 'real people' that are fine examples of who I would want to connect with on a daily basis : People of Wal-Mart

"Lean On Me" Literalism

There are times that the only person you can rely on is yourself. Over the years, I have developed the unattractive habit of looking to loved ones for the stability I lack during stressful times in my life and now, it's about fucking time I start learning some mental independence. I feel truly blessed with the people in my life right now but in the end, it really comes down to getting your shit together. No one can help you map out your next move - not family, friends, and sure as hell not a Tony Robbins-esque motivational pompous preacher. With each passing year, this realization makes me straighten up that backbone and build a tougher shell. Yet, like with many epiphanies and resolutions, their impression on me fades as time passes but the credible ones (the ones that I know I should learn from or stick to) always return to bite me in the ass.

My 2010 never-too-late-to-learn-nor-remember-mantra: To truly be self-reliant, it must be a conscious decision of my own volition.

As Spring blooms in Manhattan and the sun shines brightly, I can't help but shrug off my natural cynical pessimism and feel a tad bit optimistic about the upcoming months. Right now, I'm listening to one of my favorite Bill Withers song and I'm making a promise to myself:

With such lovely days ahead, I'm going to keep the 'leaning' to a minimum.

Getting to the Glory Land

You don’t believe me when I say ‘I’m going to rule the world’…but then again who would? I swear I don’t have too many Napoleonic tendencies, however, this thought stems from the mentality of having control of your world rather than the world. I often ponder how these amazingly successful individuals get to where they are –common themes are determination, persistence, and a strong stomach for spontaneous risk-taking. All of my life, I have believed that working up the corporate ladder, paying your dues and working hard is what will ultimately determine a person’s worth. Being out of college for a year now and serving as a sordid corporate drone for the last few months, my goals – both professional and personal – have been turned upside down.

Hatred yields passion. While love also brings out zealous feelings in all of us, hatred has the power to force drastic change. This is the point I am at - taking control of my life, I absolutely loathe my job. I detest coming into work everyday but why don’t I just…quit?

While I’m not the biggest fan of most of the literature in magazines, I am an avid reader of Entrepreneur Magazine. I am always taken aback by the passion that these people exude in these stories. Kids, much younger than me, competing with the behemoths of the business world (I am fully aware that I may be glorifying their collective efforts but I have to give them credit for looking at life from a different angle –I always had my helmet on…played it super safe). As the months roll by at Corporate and I read these success stories, the unsettling ‘what ifs’ bombard me. Carrying on my steady 9-5 at Corporate, I realize now more than ever that life is about passion and having a fiery obsession with what you do; making your career an extension of yourself. As a child, I undoubtedly believed that I would make a killer rock star and ultimately have all the money to travel and write - BOOM...the glory land. Once practicality and bullshit rationality set in, I settled for a Financial Analyst, which has brought me to my current situation.

Time and time again, writing has always pulled me through some of the darkest of times. Now, whilst I struggle with this yuppie job and my own true ambitions on a daily basis, I will use this blog as a public outlet as I redirect myself out of the monotony and mindset of Cube Life.

Fuck playing it safe.